http://thesportshernia.com Giving Sports a Roundhouse Kick to the Nuts Tue, 18 Aug 2009 21:34:15 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en Hey Vick, Fuck YOU!!!!!!! Hi Michael (or Mike, or whatever the fuck you want to be called) welcome back to society. I would like to welcome you back with a big FUCK YOU! You are a fucking scumbag, we all know this. And I really don’t give two shits about the actual ... http://thesportshernia.com/fu-corner/hey-vick-fu.html All-American University of Florida quarterback Tim Tebow admitted yesterday that he is in fact a virgin, rendering the normally chatty batch of reporters on hand utterly fucking speechless. After regaining consciousness, one particularly flummoxed reporter complained, “I mean, this guy should be dripping with vag.  I don't care if he has ... http://thesportshernia.com/football/tim-tebow-part-jedi-part-monk-all-idiot.html (MOUNT AIRY LODGE, PA) -- Former NBA player and full-time ass melter, Kiki Vandeweghe, released his much hyped and highly anticipated musical debut Tuesday, "I Won't Play Any D Baby", immediately becoming the highest selling jazz-flute album ever. The 78-minute sex romp sees Vandeweghe explore the ... http://thesportshernia.com/basketball/kiki-solo-debut.html At least once a year, those manly, extreme magazines found at Hudson News stores in airports or 7-11s post lists of "50 things to do before you die." The lists are generally way too ambitious, time-consuming and expensive to achieve, leaving only the likes of ... http://thesportshernia.com/hernia-exclusives/things-to-do-before-you-die.html The ESPN Countdown crew, led by the shameful boozebag Chris Berman and a collection of jock-sweaters, took their Favre mancrush to a new level during Sunday’s broadcast. Berman, accompanied by an especially retarded-acting Stuart Scott, opened the show in unusual fashion. Dressed in French maid outfits, the two poster boys of ... http://thesportshernia.com/football/favre.html The Arizona Cardinals final home game of the season will most likely be lacking enthusiasm but won't be short on spine tingling chills. Old friend Timm Rosenbach will be making a special appearance at halftime when Arizona brass add the horrible ex-QB to their storied Ring of Embarrassment that encompasses ... http://thesportshernia.com/football/rosenbach.html (BARBARO’S APARTMENT, HEAVEN) -- The 2008 Kentucky Derby ended in controversial fashion with one horse getting shot and the winning horse not having a clue as to what the fuck he just did. First, the winning horse, Big Brown, continued galloping after the race was over, declining ... http://thesportshernia.com/questionable-sports/nation-stunned-after-2000-pound-horse-with-toothpick-ankles-forced-to-run-at-light-speed-while-man-hits-it-with-leather-whip-breaks-ankles.html (BRISTOL, CONN) — Kansas City Chiefs message board regular Neil Boninghouse (aka "ChiefsRule86") believes its only a matter of time before ESPN execs recognize his awesome sports knowledge and glorious writing skills and make him a regular columnist on ESPN.com, the world-wide leader in douchebags. Despite writing the majority of his ... http://thesportshernia.com/football/chiefsrule86.html I am: Part centaur Seeking: A full-blown centaur Interested in: Weights, bodybuilding, female bodybuilders, sex with weights Location: GNC stock room Occupation: House thrower, part-time ref, full-time hard-ass Ethnicity: Immortal Religion: Joe Wieder Star Sign: 100-pound plates Relationship Status: Single and hungry as hell Have Children: I gave birth to an Altered Beast once Want Children: Only as worthy sparring ... http://thesportshernia.com/classifieds/ed-hochuli.html After years of courting, the fashion giants of Milan finally got their man, luring ex-NBA coach and full-time boob juggler Jeff "All Man" Van Gundy over the pond. Working from Milan, the fashionistas threw a boatload of cash, scores of women, custom-made Honda Civics, promises of world domination and crisp ... http://thesportshernia.com/basketball/vangundy.html