Retired RW/RR Challenge Uber-Hunk Joins Crips
By: J. Hamel
SOUTH CENTRAL LOS ANGELES – In an effort to jumpstart his sagging post Real World/Road Rules challenge career, Mark Long has begun the initial stages of applying for membership in Los Angeles’ notorious street gang – the Crips.
Unavailable for comment at this time, due to the sensitive and secretive nature of the Crips pledging process, we interviewed a member of the RW/RR Challenge All-stars for his take. Though it seems to be a dangerous move for the former RW/RR Challenge livewire, he has the backing of one former cast-mate.
Extreme athlete and no-talent ass-clown, Mark Long
“To be honest, I was there when the idea came to him. We were getting our asses waxed last week for a huge and important appearance I had scheduled at the Manhole Bar and Grill in Encino, when he just blurted out ‘I NEED to be in a gang brah. And my gang name will be Chewie.’ It was a total epiphany (sic.).” explained Steven Hill (RW Las Vegas).
Mr. Long reportedly began the initiation process on or about June 15th, and nobody is willing to admit if they have seen or heard from the noted cocksman since. Phone calls to Long’s shared studio apartment are met with a taped answering machine message of his signature swagger asking for the ‘dilly yo’ while CrazyTown’s “Butterfly” is being played audibly in the background.