Nation stunned after 2,000-pound horse with toothpick ankles, forced to run at light speed while man hits it with leather whip, breaks ankles

Published by B Weiss on May 30, 2008 under Questionable Sports

(BARBARO’S APARTMENT, HEAVEN) — The 2008 Kentucky Derby ended in controversial fashion with one horse getting shot and the winning horse not having a clue as to what the fuck he just did.

First, the winning horse, Big Brown, continued galloping after the race was over, declining an interview with NBC and instead aggressively sniffing the pace horse’s face and ass. It was clear Big Brown had no idea what he just accomplished or why some lady riding a horse and looking like Gazoo was chasing him with a black stick and Greg Gumbel’s puffy hair attached to it. We really can’t blame Big Brown for his behavior, partly because that lady seemed a bit too ‘in your face’, but mainly because he is, like Barbaro was last year, a fucking HORSE. Read more »

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