The Sports Hernia

After years of courting, the fashion giants of Milan finally got their man, luring ex-NBA coach and full-time boob juggler Jeff “All Man” Van Gundy over the pond. Working from Milan, the fashionistas threw a boatload of cash, scores of women, custom-made Honda Civics, promises of world domination and crisp chest passes at the former NBA coach. But Donatella Versace and Georgio Armani, who spearheaded the recruiting effort, were only able to nab Van Gundy after relenting to his demands that the majority of his outfits come in his trademark “Diet Coke Silver.”

Van Gundy, who has been dogged by rumors of his imminent departure to the modeling world since his clothes were torn clean off his body during a famous fight with Alonzo Mourning’s leg, finally made it official Monday. Read more »